At the tender age of 11 Letard and brother Dylan, lost their biological mother and adoptive father (BIOLOGICAL UNCLE) in a tragic pedalo accident. Leaving them with their abusive biological father, who turned to Neozzo cocaine abuse.
Letard trained in the ancient Samurai arts, and by the age of 18 had became quite good. Before giving up and following her dream of becoming a bounty hunter. this brought her into many a strange situation. During a job fort he high ranking Crime Admiral Gy Ocno Py'tillo of Neptune. She fell in love with her target Serefynya Patilon'ee (A native Neptunian who was a light green colour like most of the species). Choosing not to kill the 'Neptunian Goddess' as many referred to her as, she instead murdered the Crime Admiral. No longer welcome within the Neptunian Confederacy, she began a life of crime with her lover leaving a trail of blood and destruction through the human empire.Leta and her now wife Serefynya stole a small cargo vessel (Mostly used for smuggling) called the Decade Humming Bird from Crime Commodore Voto Ocno Py'tillo of Neptune (Half brother-cousin of Gy) her was most displeased with this occorence, and sent Coda Salvatore a skilled assassin and a Vampire after them.
Coda followed the pair from the moons of Haliseco five to the asteroid belts of the Gilded Cluster, eventually tracking them down to one of the submerged towns of old Earth, this town was Mystic Falls Virginia. The reason for her being in the rotting cesspool of a town, was her father's intervention for his drug abuse. Unable to sway him from his ways he demanded she take his life as forfeit.After the death of their only remaining parent. Letard and Dylan caught up with each other after three years apart. Dylan chose to show his sister his lab, where he had been working on a Flux Capacitor. While at the labs, Coda's plan was set into action. As per his instructions, Serefynya was granted a quick death. However he was to give Leta an eternity of suffering. At some point he had infected her with Vampire blood, and laced all the Decade Humming Bird's food supplies with radioactive moon-dust.
Heartbroken over her wife's death, Letard ate an entire tub of fish and chips scented ice cream, which had been tainted with the radioactive radioactive moon-dust. At the age of 21 she became the first Marshain Vampire. Repentant of what he did to Leta, Coda chose to guide her through her transition to living as a vampire. He did not however inform her of his involvement in the death Serefynya.
Leta chose to settle in Mystic Falls with her brother and good friend Coda. During this time they encounted many strange occurrences within the town. With the help of Judo Berlo-Bennett one of the last remaining witches on Earth.
In the year 3022AD the eighth Zombie apocalypse occurred, Leta and her group were forced to spend around a year fighting zombies before the managed the kill the first zombie or the Herald as he called himself who foretold the end of time. As he
was slain his power to foretell the future passed to the nearest living presence, which so happened to be the witch Judo. Who confirmed they were about three years away from the end of time. Stating the Old One (A Vampire of unthinkable power) would arise and lay waste to all.
Three years later Dylan finally finished the Flux Capacitor he had been working on, discovering that to make the time machine work he had to sacrifice a small animal, like a bunny or puppy. This by his estimations would send both Leta and Coda back in time to around 2014, however while the Time Machine warmed up to send them back Coda chose to come clean about his involvement in Serefynya's death.
Enraged Leta killed Coda, this sent her back much further than intended before the birth of the first doppelgangers. This made the job Letard was sent on much harder, for one thing she no longer had an ally in the past and another she was 5000 years to early to do any thing. Let alone find and kill the Old One Before he or she could set the apocalypse in motion.
For many thousands of years Letard roamed the ancient Earth, discovering much about the planet that in her own time, had been lost. Of course at this time Letard was quite unaware that she was a doppelganger, and to say the least was surprised to find the first one.
Letard was present at many historical events and hung around with many a historical figure. for instance during her time within Cleopatra's court, the two supposedly began an affair. This however is not confirmed.
She was also present at the birth of Jesus, who later turned out to be a doppelganger (Is that how it's spelt???) of Coda. At first she thought it must be him some-how. But later realized that Jesus A: was no vampire(At the time), That B: It was cold hard fact that Coda had been born (Was to be born at the time) on the second moon of Alderaan.
Anyhow, she remembered both of these things a little late, and through no fault of her own, mentioned in passing to a man who had a friend of a friend of an acquittance who knew this roman woman, who had a grandson who was a centurion. Long story short, Jesus was captured and crucified. Later in biblical storytelling of the story she would be described as a man named Judas.
The reason behind Jesus 'rising' was that he had consumed a small amount of Letard's blood at one point or another. He did however not live long as a vampire as Letard had found him exceptionally annoying alive, and did not wish to burden the world with him for eternity.
From 75 AD-79 AD. Leta was living in Pompeii and was present for the eruption of Mount Vesuvius in 79 AD. Letard narrowly escaped with her life, but often remembers the shoe she lost that day, it was really comfortable to wear, and loseing one ruined thet and everthing so it was a bit annoying for her.
At some point during the year 442, Letard was unpleasantly surprised, when a previously believed dead Coda. Contacted Leta. Though the subsequent duel had many casualty's and destroyed the small island nation of Whagator. Little is known of the time.
During the year 623, in Gansu, China. Letard assisted the Tang dynasty during the Tuyuhun invasion of Gansu. She had become a close personal friend, and mentor to Chai Shao. The general who led the Tang forces. During the battle she distracted the Tuyuhun soldiers by performing a dance along with Princess Pingyang The daughter Emperor Gaozu. During the battle she was of course in disguise. Strangely the dancing plan worked and the battle was a huge success. Unfortunately for Leta, Emperor Gaozu (whom she had known and stolen from twenty years earlier) Recognized her and exiled her from his lands.
Letard would not return to China for another three hundred years. Not for anything important though. She just felt like a holiday.
In approximately the year 759 Letard conspired against, and assisted in the murder of king Oswulf of Northumbria. Æthelwald Moll, Was the one to succeed him. She had been on relatively friendly terms with Æthelwald, some sources claiming they were lovers. This has never been proven but would explain as to why she led the nobles to depose him. Six short years later.
Some time later (the year 888) Letard was a voice coach for Charles the third of the Carolingian Empire. This is only note-worthy due to the fact he was known asCharles the Fat.During the year 919, she assisted Edward the Elder of England conquer Bedford. Letard was not part of his army, just an angry bystander who threw a chicken in the chaos (This would be later disputed by most if not all historians, but it happened.) She would later hang out with his son, Edred of England, during his nine year reign (946-955) It is believed she served him as an adviser.
In the year 999, on the 30th of December. Her past finally caught up with her. Once again she met with the assassin Coda Salvatore. Unlike their previous meeting the two reconciled. Welcoming in the new millinum as friends rather than foes.
On the 1st of January 1000, after an unknown argument the former foes once again fought. Neither coming out a winner. Suffering from injures they parted ways Coda Joined the expedition of Leif Ericson. Where as Leta vanished from history for the next 200 years (Although some sources claim she was at the battle of Hastings, 1066)
At some point during 1114 Letard attended the wedding of Matilda and Henry V, Holy Roman Emperor. This is note worthy due to the reports of Letard drunkenly mumbling 'Another one thousand fucking years of this history bullshit' at the wedding feast.
In 1148, Letard once again added to her rather diverse battle portfolio. Having joined The Second Crusade, Letard was instrumental in the Siege of Damascus. The outcome was less successful than her commander Conrad III of Germany had hoped. The ensuing battle later becoming known as the 'Fiasco at Damascus'.
In 1217, after a bet with Berengaria of Castile. She dropped a roof tile on the head of King Henry I of Castile (Berenaria's younger brother). His regent, Álvaro Núñez de Lara tried and ultimately failed to conceal this. Benenaria then succeeded his throne.
Later in around 1250, Letard stole a ship called the Constance of Sicily. From Frederick II, Holy Roman Emperor. This happened around December of that year. Many believe this event caused his death some days later.
She would spend the next Three-hundred or so years as a pirate vigilante. (among other things) Letard renamed the ship the Slippy Octopus, in honor of her mother.
Over these years historical facts and documents about Leta were scarce. However she claims to have performed several rather far-fetched feats. She claims to have led a five-person-invasion of Sicily, at what is modern day Palermo. Bear in mind there is no historical indication this actually happened.
She also claims to have kidnapped the young queen Margaret of Bohemia In around 1449. This is probably inaccurate as Margaret would have been about fourteen or fifteen at the time, and because most sources claims she died in that year.
In 1512, she and her crew crashed off the coast of Lindisfarne island. Other than herself there was one survivor. A sixteen year-old Italian Vampire, Marisa Lowe.
They spent the next three years as traveling lizard saleswomen. In 1515 Letard and Marisa were arrested for selling fake lizzards to Thomas Wolsey. Marisa sells out Leta and is allowed to go free. Letard spends the next week and a half in prison for this crime, until inexplicably she was released.
Some time later she became a courtier at the court of Henry VIII of England. She served his mistress Elizabeth Blount (Bessie) as a lady-in-waiting and was one of the few who went with her to St Lawrence priory in Essex. She was present for the birth of her son Henry Fitzroy on the 15 June 1519.
For the most part Leta (Known as Margaret Crook at the time) raised the young bastard, as his parents only cared for him in a political capacity. She acted as guardian for ten years until late 1529, when people started to note the fact she hadn't aged in at all for over a decade. She removed herself from court but kept a watchful eye on her former charge.In 1531 Leta was suspected of witch-craft in the small town of Schiltach in which is now modern day Germany. She was subsequently chased out of town by a large mob. Leading this mob was none-other than Coda Salvatore, Leta's thousand year long nemesis.
While living in Paris in 1533, Letard received word that her former ward, Henry Fitzroy had married Mary Howard, the daughter of Thomas Howard, 3rd Duke of Norfolk. She sent the couple a letter of congratulation and lamented the fact she could not have been there.
In June 1536, Letard received word that Henry had become deathly Ill, she made plans to return to England with the intent of turning Henry to prevent his death, she arrived at St. James's Palace on 22nd July 1536, And allowed him to drink some of her blood.
He died a day later, but soon recovered. She explained the nature of his recovery and who she really was and exactly how old she was (This took some time). He then drank the blood of a servant, killing him. They disguised the boy as Henry. With his transformation complete he joined Letard on her adventures around the world.
They went to Sweeden in 1565, Leta breifly became Queen as Karin Månsdotter (1567 & 1569 its complicated) she later left in 1577 when Eric XIV of Sweden died and replaced herself a Petrova doplthingy (who had also been used as pregmacy double, like I said its complicted).In 1585, Letard and Henry became servants in the employ of Elizabeth Báthory, a Hungarian noble woman who would later be known as the The Blood Countess.
In 1590 Letard turned Elizabeth, this would prove a mistake as after the transformation, Elizabeth became addicted to bathing in the blood of young girls.
Two years later, Leta would make a short visit to England to see one of William Shakespeare's plays.
She saw Richard III, and during the play consistently heckled the actors and pointed out historical inaccuracies and plot-holes. She was ejected from the theatre after she and Shakespeare came to blows. During the fight Leta broke Shakespeare's nose, and had a large amount of her hair torn out by the playwright.
The fight was only broken up when Elizabeth I of England intervened. Leta and Shakespeare were forced to apologize to one another by the queen and begrudgingly did so.
Shakespeare is believed to have written many insulting sonnets about Letard although no contapary evidence can prove this, she is believed to have been his inspiration for The Rival Poet and Lady Macbeth's characterization. She and Shakespeare would continue their rivalry until his death.After her disappointing trip, Leta returned to Čachtice Castle where she met up again with her two sires.
During 1593–1610, Leta and Henry would constantly attempt to cover up Elizabeth's murders. However they were unsuccessful, as on the 29th December 1610 they were arrested for the crimes along with for other servants in Elizabeth's household.
György Thurzó, was the one to arrest them, to Letard's horror this man was in fact...none other than...Her long time rival...Archnemisis...and occasional squash partner... Coda 'Mother Fucking' Salvatore. He had Leta and Henry imprisoned separately form Elizabeth and the others at Nagybiccse. It would later transpire that Coda was only impersonating György.
The real Baron Thurzó was being held captive in his own house and was instrumental to their escape. They quickly parted ways and never saw him again, despite having formed the lifelong bond developed by prison escapee's.For four more years Letard and Henry would attempt to free Elizabeth from her imprisonment in Čachtice Castle. Eventually on the 21 August 1614 they were able to break in and fake Báthory's death. The three of them fled Čachtice and spent the next twenty years in Italy.
In July of 1626, Letard, Henry and Elizabeth were living in Naples, on the 30th of this month, a devastating earthquake killed 10,000. Letard didn't realize anything had happened for a week after however and was upset and embarrassed to find many of the city's occupants had tragickliee died.
By the time 1629 had rolled around, Letard was living the life of a wealthy merchant in Milan. Unfortunately in October of this YEAR; the Italian plague arrived in the city, killing most if not all of Leta's customers. Luckily however Leta had the good sense to ransack their corpses, and as a result did not go bankrupt.
Despite the Milan authorities insistence on strict quarantine procedure in the city, Letard left the city; although she could not contract the plague she could carry it and by the time she had Florence. Where the three for the most part resided; Leta had spread the plague there too.
After that Leta, Henry and Elizabeth decided to visit the recently rediscovered Pompeii. Unfortunately however Mount Vesuvius, once again errupted; though not as bad as the 79AD incident (Leta managed to keep both of her shoes) the whole ordeal really annoying as all Leta had wanted to do was visit some where she had lived over one thousand years ago.
It is note worthy however that Letard did in fact find the shoe she lost all those years ago, unfortunately she had since lost the other shoe rendering her discovery rather pointless.
On February 13th Leta was present (In disguise) at the trial of Galileo Galilei before the Roman Catholic Church. She was asked the leave during the proceedings however because of her defense of his heliocentric view of the Solar System. Well it maybe wasn't her defense so much, more the fact she was heckling them, in a very similar way to how she had heckled Shakespeare some forty years prior.
By 1634, Leta had had enough of Italy; by 1635 Leta had moved her small family once again and now resided in Paris, France, Europe, Earth, Sol, Local Cluster, Milky Way, Local Galactic Cluster, Universe In the house she had been using exactly ninety-nine years ago when she had rushed back to England to prevent Henry's death.
Letard was surprised to find out her servant, Robespierre, had in fact been alive all these years keeping her opulent town house in pristine condition. However being aged 134, Robespierre died from the shock of seeing his mistress return after nearly one hundred years completely UN-aged. To this day Letard had no idea how he lived so ridiculously long.
During 1638, Coda once again reared his ugly head; the millennia long adversary of Leta. along with Marisa Lowe and a turned William Shakespeare, he had taken residence across the street from Leta. Much to Coda's disappointment Leta was in the process of planing a trip to China, as Europe had gotten a Little boring.
After a dramatic Katana fight through the streets of Paris, Leta once again managed to ditch Coda and board her new ship, The Smooglay-Booglay of west Parooglay, named after her late wife.
It took nearly five years to arrive in China as Leta had forgotten how to get there since she hadn't been there for about a thousand years. In 1645, they arrived in China in the city of Xi'an, during a time of unrest and war in the city. It was here that Elizabeth once again started murdering teenage girls, a habit she was never able to break.
Once again Leta and Henry attempted to cover up the murders, but only so many young women can be murdered before someone notices...
By the mid summer of 1647 around the 16th of august but not the 16th of august. An armed mob drove the three from the town as they believed they were corrupt spirits sent to the land to tempt and test them. Fortunately Leta found help with the baker's son Yun Chau Lei (Who strangely enough spent every full moon in the Forrest with others his age) By the time the mob had given up and gone home, empty and disillusioned with their respective failing marriages. Leta, Henry, Elizabeth and their new ally Lei had successfully made it to the forest, sans one toenail.
As it turned out, Yun Chau Lei was one of many Yaoguai (A chinese mythalogical term for demon) in actual fact they were Werewolves (not swearwolves) anyhooo, they all lived in the forest like the hairy tree-huggers they were. Leta, and the gang were introduced to the leader of the wolves, Chang'e (Named after the chinese godess of the moon becuse she was sooooo origanal)
well, they totally banged. Like 50 shades of slutterbutt-licious BANGED.
Unfourtunately, 17th centuary werewolves are dicks, like they pretent to be your bestfriend and then stab you in the back, assholes. This is what exactly what happend to Leta. Lei, who's a bit of a cunt as it turns out, after he did this he buggered off to go stage a coup with some of his fellow hippey-asshole-furbags, and a nondescript man named Greg.
When Leta woke up and arrived at the camp everyone except Greg, Henry and Elizabeth who were haveing a bitch-boy slap-fight were dead. she pulled out her Shot-blaster from a 'secret location within her person' and shot Greg in his bitchy little shovel face.
They returned to the dock where they had left The Smooglay-Booglay of west Parooglay, Leta's ship only to find it had been impounded, stripped and turned into scrap. So they just stole the nearest ship they could find and headed back to europe.
They arrived in Spain in 1649 in Peniscola, a small ocieny islandy towny placymabob. After convinceing the townspeople (simpletons) they installed themselves as the local noble family the Hernandes' (Van Den Wyngaret isn't exactly Spanish sounding)
She installed herself in the castle and pretended to be a viscountess, pretending Henry and Elizabeth (or Horácio-Romão and Emília-Cecília) were her two children, as always old habits die hard with Elizabeth who once again was murdering teenage girls. Suprisingly this lasted untoiced by Leta for nine years until her maid Alda went missing
At first she wasn't suspicious, but she visted Elizabeth's room later that week and found Alda's dissmembered corpse (amongst others) sick of Elizabeth's bullshit, the two battled through the streets of Peniscola for an entire week. evrnyually, wounded Elizabeth got away they would not meet again until the 1750's in Versallies.
After this a bitter Leta was sick of spain and left for Sweeden with Henry. They got lost and ended up living as farmers in Norway for a decade.
Eventually they got to Sweeden in 1677 at the court of Charles XI of Sweden, She and Henry pretended to be his non-existent siblings. (it worked) This was also her seccond time impersonating Sweedish royalty (And not the last time...)
It is during this time that Leta claims she invented the Dildo. This is false as phallic objects were known to have been used in anceint Greece, or Rome It dosen't matter as both of those places were filled with perverts thousends of years ago, I'm sure one of them came up with the idea.
- Letard's nautrul hair colour is not infact blonde with a subtle blue streek, originally she had seafoam hair with deep unicorn shit pink highlights.
- Letard was blind in her left eye until the late 8th centuary, as a child she had gotten a rice crispy lodged in there which finally fell out in 762AD.
- though she claims to be 5575 years old, Letard actually has no clue I mean who the hell keeps track of their age anyway?
- This is her faveroute song:X
- Worse than a rick-roll eh?
- Like most females from the 31'st centuary she has a birth mark of a kawaii af micro penis.
- At all times Leta keeps a shot-blaster hidden on her person, no small task trust me...
- Letard enjoys impersonating royalty, and nobles.
- She has been married twenty five times (that she remembers), three times to herself, twelve times to women, and ten times to men.